This is Oscar, he is not yet 4 years old and he lives in Zambia. Nathan and I are sponsoring him each month now, and we hope to help him have a better life. Here is what we know about him:

"Oscar lives with his parents, 2 brothers, and 1 sister. His parents struggle to provide for the family.

Oscar and his family live in a community severely affected by the HIV/AIDS crisis. In some communities, AIDS affects the entire social structure as a generation of hardworking adults is being wiped out. Frightened children and exhausted grandparents rarely have money for food, school, or medical care. Through sponsorship, you can help with these and other basic needs for Oscar and his family.

Oscar is not in school at this time. He likes to play with toys. He helps at home by learning to do small tasks. He is in satisfactory health.

Your sponsorship commitment will help provide Oscar and his community with the assistance they need to save a generation from the HIV/AIDS crisis. World Vision will faithfully use your sponsorship support of Oscar to meet his needs and minimize the impact of AIDS in his community through tangible prevention and care programs. You are an answer to prayer, helping children and families gain access to basic needs and learn about God's unconditional love."

(borrowed from the world vision web site)

I'm so excited to be able to help him and his family, not only financially but by being able to pray for him and his family as well. Oh man, I'm so excited. 

I want to live in a hallmark movie today.

You know how in cartoons when characters get bonked or ran over or something and a circle of stars hover over their heads? I walked to another room and that happened to me, and for a minute I thought for sure I was either delirious or crazy. This has happened before but for maybe 2 seconds, this time it lasted for at least a full minute. It wasn't a circle either, it was like shooting, metallic stars streaming all over the place. I don't know, maybe I'm nuts. 

I'm bad at journals.

Today it was incredibly cold, but there was something very beautiful about cheney/spokane. Especially when I get to leave my apartment at 5:30 in the morning to drive to work and make coffee for less than perfect people. That sounds cynical but I really don't mean it that way.  The hard part is forcing myself out of bed at 4:30 am. What is it about early morning that is so magical?  Even at disneyland, the most magical place on earth is MORE magical in early morning. When crowds and crowds of people are in the park you miss a lot of detail, even something as simple as a sidewalk which ends up being pretty important when you miss the step onto it. ouch. I have been praying that I could be on more of a schedule, and that I could stop being such a lazy person. Maybe this is just an eye opener to how much of the day I actually waste by sleeping in until 10. By 10 am, I have already showered, ate breakfast, talked to about 50 different people, and made some money. How could I be utilizing my time like this normally, and how can I make it more worthwhile at work? How much detail am I missing daily?

Today is going to be FUN.
I just cleared my throat and sounded like a rooster. cool.

How do I help others thousands of miles away? I want to do something.

and you know what he did...

Urban PLUNGE! I can't waiiitttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.

Don't read this, it's dumb.

I am so boring. I have all these "things" I want to do yet I sit around and do nothing. Ok, I'm not boring I'm lazy. crap.
I don't want to be a sloth!

Today I just want to sit with just my mom and watch a movie. I miss her so much. Some days I recognize that I am an adult but at the same time it makes me a little sad. Sad at the fact that chaos is slowly starting to fill my life. Chaos that is going to speed up real fast and then not slow down for a long time. My thoughts are jumbled sometimes and my speech becomes lazy and I end up only saying the last word in my sentences.I am feeling really disconnected from everyone lately, it's been really hard to relate to people. Like being 11, you're too old to hang out with the 9 year olds but too young to hang out with the 13 year olds. I feel like no one really takes me seriously or could consider me as someone to talk to about anything deeper. Anything deeper than how classes are going or some topic that is way over discussed and everyones immediate response is thrown from their autopilot pile of phrases. Maybe it would just be easier to get married.